Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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