i think i have two assholes
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
