You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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