Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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