Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
