You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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