I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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