sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
