He kissed a someone with a penis
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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