The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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