god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
