Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
