Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize