Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
