i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
