My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Randomize
