she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
