i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So. Much. Porn.
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