i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
