Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
