So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
