Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
