I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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