I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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