The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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