I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
