i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I currently don't understand fingers.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
