I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
