I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
