Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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