Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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