She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
