Kiss
Puke
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
