You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize