all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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