I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
