They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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