If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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