Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There r osticjed everywhere
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
