Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
