You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
