Whod you bang
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
