Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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