we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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