Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
