New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
