I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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