He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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