we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
