Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
