I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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