fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize