guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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