I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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