i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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