I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
