um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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