Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
