He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
