Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
