Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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