guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
