I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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