so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize