I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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