someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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