ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
